blog till i sleep

kena attacked by the sleep bug this afternoon...zonked seconds after i lay on my bed. this is not good since sleeping in the afternoon means not being able to sleep at night, for me at least. and not being able to sleep is bad since i will think. thinking will conjure up memories, which will further hinder the process of inducing sleepiness into me. so now, i will blog until i feel sleepy. sounds weird eh. nvm, i got one month to try out different sleep inducing techniques.

one of which i recall is getting into my no, 4 uniform. perhaps it applies only to my BMT period, but upon donning the no. 4 and thinking about having to fall in for various activities in an hours time sure makes u feel totally "zonked". ok, this is working, i do feel a little sleepy thinking now of this.

another is to draw and doodle, *yawns*(i just yawned). yeah, working. maybe it's because i had a thought about reading novels before going to bed. that's another sleep inducing technique i must add. not that the novel is bad or boring of course, but because processing the words into imagery takes a hell lot of energy(images work better for guys u see). maybe that's why reading blogs keep me awake. ok, no blog reading at night.

next, contemplating your future. this is a sometimes work, sometimes cannot work method. i am looking at the career guide 2005 book now, the 4 people with happy faces on the cover appall me: are they really that happy? "a smile is like a lie, a facade hiding the truth". yes, this is where my the gist of my A level project comes in...it's simple, people smile to hide the truth. why smile? people like positive stuff, they won't suspect anything wrong if u smile(of course, smile naturally la). aiyo, derailed from topic again.
ok, back at the point where i was staring at the guide book, it's really traumatising to see that the only course that i have interest in the whole of singapore, and the only course that i have applied to(architecture), have fresh graduates earning about $20000++ per annum. if u do the math, it's like, a thousand plus per month, i would rather work as a shop assistant. no doubt that it guaruntees 100% full time employment, the satisfaction in terms of money earned doesn't equal to the effort u have put in constructing intricate architectural models and endless calculation(something which i hate!). most importantly, fresh graduates from archi earn the least compared to fresh grads from other courses. ok, i am now quite irritated by the fact that i have chosen to apply for architecture. there is a high chance now that i may give up my placement in archi to the next person. and possibly apply for SADDAM hussien's course(NTU's SADM la). lol. maybe going overseas would be better, but if were to go overseas, hell i wouldn't choose archi. illustration(or graphic design) here i come!

with that said, i realsied that i need to improve my miserable IT skills if i want to take up courses like graphic design. even if i were to archi i also need to improve on it. sian, why i still dun feel sleepy. so, comtemplating on your future is still not enough. shit, quick think of other things! ah yes, irritating pple. yes yes yes, this is where i have alot to say, or in this case, blog about.

since i was young(cliche!), irritating people has been part and parcel of my everyday life(whose life isn't filled with irritating pple?). and when i say irritating pple, i dun mean pple who constantly bug u and ask u silly questions, but these are the people that really infuriate me: hypocritic pple! yes, schools are a melting pot for these sort of pple, especially in JC, yes, especially in JC. that's why i decided to come up with my 'smile:)lies' project(once again, my project pops up in mid conversation with my comp). i really hate it when pple go 'aiya, i very dumb one la, i never study la, i do last minute one la' gets the top grades in wadever subject he.she is taking. there are COUNTLESS of these pple in schl. it simple irrates me! yuck. >p wad's more, there are some pple who are so clever but refuse to help out one another. ok, maybe he/she did help out once or twice, but(!), it is being done in a condescending manner. sommore pple will give u the look of ' so simple also dunno'. it felt really bad being one of the dumber ones during JC(i even got called to see the vice principal regarding my shitty common tests results k!), although my A level results were quite decent(but if u compared it to the smart ones, its really kana sai!). shit, now i feel even less sleepy, with all the anger and rage burning in my brain! yes, in conclusion, JC is a place where fake pple from secondary become even faker, and develope sort of a permanent facade, in which u will forever be known as this fake guy/girl.

wow, this is one long blog entry.

anyway, i shall continue since sleepiness hasn't settled into me yet. JC days was bad bad bad bad bad....hated them, idiotic tutorials and irritating pple u have to face. yuck yuck yuck. it really all farce and pretense in JC(maybe it applies to me and my school). some more got clever(10x cleverer than me wor) pple want to compete with me leh...wa...great honour sia. bullshit la, great insult more like it. i shall not go into detail since i am scared that i may utter more nonsense. JC is no longer your sweet secondary school where pple are mostly 'fren fren' with each other(this maybe applies to me and my sec schl). JC is where u meet pple(for me it's mostly pple from independent and autonomous schls)and realised that why are all these people equipped with superb acting skills(yes, this is useful). but please lor, this is not the working world, for crying out loud you dun bloody need them, no one is going to steal your rice bowl so please stop making pple feel bad in order to do lousier than u...idiots, really. these pple msut be happy lor, got acting skills to use when they work, while simple me dun have. how sad hor :( .

jsut realised that i have been spewing nonsense for the later part of the previous paragraph. maybe u say i jealous only. haha. humans are weak creatures, who constantly put up many many faces to please the world, it can't be helped. i know it's happening, but how do i face the world without learning to be like them?! sometimes reality becomes to harsh. i am too nice(said by some). 太好欺负了(says another). but who wants nice pple in reality?! ok, unless u become cousellors or volunteers. so, in order to succeed, u can't be too nice. this is where all the corporate backstabbing(sometimes literally) starts, people cannot stand competition and want's to elimitate the competition. this is exactly wad is happening in JC. pple ask u go to schl and learn la, not backstab one another leh.

so i have just foudn out another thing, to keep me energised, all i have to do is think of irritating pple. cool...this is like a path of self discovery. some one keep me from being energised please...

*pauses and thinks for 5 mins*

yes, i do feel abit sleepy. maybe that's wad i'll do on my bed. k

this is like a new form of therapy, blogapy(sounds like "blog 个屁"). ha, funny. started typing at 1.57am and now it's 3.01am. think's it's time for me to sleep and ponder about my future. 3.02am already. long entries like this will be expected to show up on my blog on sleepless night. so...although aye am shstill rather awake now, i shall go lye on mai baiyd. youshless blogaphy.........

8th day in aircast...