Miserable

i suddenly feel really miserable. and this kind of miserable feeling isn't explainable, it's really really this sad feeling which punches you right in your heart, your head, your whole body. see, i not even typing in sms lingo. i said that it is hard to explain because just a few hours ago i was feeling all jovial, then suddenly, like a sudden storm brewing in my head, the feeling surges through every single cell of my body. i think a headache is ensuing. as i am typing this, i am experiencing a slight aching around the fracture area. it's rheumatism, side effect of the fracture. guess the pain means rain is coming. idiot. i really dunno why this is happening. maybe it's the lack of making new friends. humans are social creatures. but i guess new friends won't find me interesting to be with. it's sad. really, i feel sad. maybe it's another mood swing. or maybe i am contemplating on what will my future be.

"que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future's not for us to see, que sera sera, what will be will be."

easy for you to say.

if i could change certain characteristics of me, i defintitely would. i am really not happy with quite a few things, but i think it's not very good to say it here. i also sure this entry will spoil people's mood. really, i feel weird. makes me want to shout, slap, clobber people. random people now. lucky there's no one in my house. hope the feeling goes away the next day.

is it just me or is it common for people to suddenly feel and 360degree change of mood without any outside influence? any counsellors out there? i need your service.

i shall go eat gui ling gao...