i am still thinking...

...of what i want in my life. this is so cliche...but i bet everyone goes through this phase. like what u are going to do after school and stuff...it's damn sickening. is life a sick process that everyone has to go through? i guess i should not think like that since it is the 7th month now. now i am being superstitious huh. there are alot of things that you kind of regret not doing...not making correct moves in the first place...yes, as cliche as it sounds, it's like playing a game. but the game is not fun tho. life is like a RPG game that you cannot save, cannot undo, cannot restart(meaning u die la, but you will not come back to earth again). hmmm, speaking of restarting, if u restart your life, then begin your life again somewhere on another planet where there is life. that should be interesting...provided that you can remember your previous life(i am just assuming things at this point).

it's another sleepless night for me. yes...too much free and idle time really harms your body. and mind if i must add. hmmm...ya, what do i love? follow your heart. easier said than done. i guess these 3months God gave me to think and contemplate my future is probably being wasted by me. ok la, maybe not, i was involved in the AEP exhibition, got to learn new skills like digital painting and ya...more time with the family, oh ya, i got time to check out the facilities of SADM too. but all these will not be beneficial to me if i don't know what i want to do in the future. ya. it's so sad, but true. crap. haiz...sooner or later i will need to live and depend only by myself, but want can i do in order to have a lobang that is good enough to support my lifestyle? (hmmm...i feel deja vu all of a sudden, maybe it's a sign). lol...signs...watched it yesterday, crappy ending i must say. it's one of those M night shyamalan's shows where stupid twists were lacking. but the suspense is there. ya, i am in search for a good horror/thriller movie. let me ride disney world's hollywood tower of terror 24/7 and i wouldn't puke. ya, i am a thrill junkie. and yet, there are no pple that i know that share this interest.

hmmm...i've this idea of opening a tour agency that specialises in tours to disney theme parks around the world, given the fact the disney themeparks are sprouting like mushrooms in every known and civilised corner of the planet. sure make big business(must try to find out, so any willing partners?). money and power hungry disney has already proposed building a second theme park in china, right after hong kong disneyland, in shanghai's pudong. it will be the "disneyworld" equivalent in china. hong kong disneyland seems pathetic, small and tiny and lacking of classic disney rides. but i would like to check it out tho, to see how small it is, haha. so far, there are already 5 disneyland styled themeparks in the world, disneyland anaheim, magic kingdom in florida, tokyo disneyland, disneyland paris and hong kong disneyland. these 5 parks closely copy the format of the original disneyland in ananheim. the other disney parks are rather independent of one another, each having a own theme. epcot centre, disney studios and animal kingdom in florida, disney's california adventure in anaheim(just opposite disneyland anaheim), tokyo disney sea and walt disney studios in paris. ya...the most popular of the non-disneyland styled parks is disney sea followed by epcot. i personally like epcot centre, for one thing...it's BIG. i haven been to disney sea tho. still waiting for sponsers and tower of terror to be built. oh ya...and willing pple to follow me. hmmm...say so much maybe i can go work as a cast member in a disney park. i went to apply for a job as a cast member at hong kong disneyland lor, but they didn't reply me. sad. my qualifications fitted their specifications. they want cast members that can speak canto, english and mandarin. i do admit that my canto is below par of the average hongkee, but i can manage conversations with locals. oh ya, i know why i wasn't accepted by them liaoz...i am a singaporean. duh... traveling is one of my likes as well. should i go into the hospitality and tourism sector? sounds fun...and people do earn big bucks planning conventions and tours.

hmmm...ya la...money, everyone wants money, people can lose their religion or even their life over money. just look at michael jackson la, rumour has it that he sold his sold to the devil in order to be famous...but look at him now la, prancing to and fro from court houses wearing a handkerchief across his pasty white face to prevent his plasticky nose from falling off. isn't he much better looking when he was black? his perception of beauty is absolutely flawed. but i like SOME of his songs tho.

tomorrow is back to mount elizabeth. for x rays. haha. i don't want any more MCs please(oh wait...that is for changi hospital to decide). can somebody tell me my bloody posting now so that i do not have to be anticipating all day and i can also plan what i can do for the rest of my NS life. oh ya, i am asked to go for the airforce interview. to see if i can be a pilot if i were to sign on. go lor...go for fun...maybe i sign on as pilot also can. i think SAF really short of manpower those sign on one...i think. i wouldn't mind those bmt style trainings tho, if only the instructors are nice.

i read through the above stuff and realised that there are lots of "should"s and "maybe"s...not good not good. must be firm when u are bent on doing something and not be po po ma ma. got any character changing course out there or not?

i am not sleeping tonight...haven tried this for quite some time. better do it before i get called back by the army in 2 weeks time. 2 weeks is rather fast. the last 2 weeks were fast. my dream vocation will be one that is 8-5, moderate amounts of PT, without running...hmmm...like how is that possible sia? haha.

was thinking of being an entrepreneur...haha...but do wad? woohoo...it's 3.22am now, been blogging for about an hour already. digressed a little. i need to do networking sia.

i guess i shouldn't regret about certain things not yet done, or should have done. ya, it's pointless...concentrate with what you are going to do now with what you have. ya, i guess i had been really lucky in terms of my education. hmmm...i think it all started in primary school, end of primary 5...i don't know if it is because of my muggerish attitude then which led me to have what i am now. i admit that i am not clever, only average, i worked hard during my primary 6 period, doing countless of assessments for practice, call me weird, but i found doing assessments thrilling and it became sort of an addiction. because of this addiction, or maybe because i wanted to win the sickeningly smart pple around me that i became addicted to doing assessments. lucky it paid off, i got 100marks for maths in pri 6 prelims and got a grade that got me into RV. honestly, i haven't heard of this school until pri 6, hahah...my goal was RI or TCHS actually. as a matter of fact...i just wanted to be in the schools that most NYPS boys go aspire to go. but ya, i took a different route and went to RV, i think only 7 NYPS pple went there. to tell the truth, i wanted to transfer out of RV after being there for one month. why? no friends i know, the pple there speak too much chinese and (gasp!) hokkien(i was really much of an english speaker in pri schl, heh, some of my sec one classmates even commented that my eng was very liu li). but in the end, i didn't try to make friends with my fellow NYPS pple...and instead, assimilated into the RV culture. and ya, RV pple are mainly peace loving pple. a good bunch of pple to make friends with. but when it boils down to the real world, i find that RV pple will lose out in the end. ya, cuz alot of us are not aggressive enough and take things as it is. correct me if i am wrong, but this is just my honest opinion. then ya, i was kinda hesistant to go JC, mainly because after slogging through the Os...i felt that studying was really not my thing, and i really needed to do something different. wanted to go to TP, but ya, parents won't allow, and i even had sort of a heated argument with my uncle. geesh. k lor...so went to NJ...i chose it for the AEP only...at least it offered something that i had interest in...haha. JC years was another miracle...haha...i never got beyond an E for my econs, phy and maths in year one...haha...and for year 2, lucky with mrs chung's help, i broke the E barrier for maths and got a C for prelims...hehe. but phy and econs where still E. oh yeah, for those wondering what to choose in JC, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT take econs if you have difficulty in grasping abstract concepts and hate writing essays. oh yeah...A levels was a miracle. i guess not only for me but for many others...haha...can u believe it...after getting consistent Es and Os for my Phy and Econs...i got Bs for both subjs...lol...i was laughing when i saw the results earlier this year in march...haha. but ya...i was rather mugger-ish during the As period. must be my imagination, or is there someone cooking satay at this hour?! oh no...i just remebered it's the 7th month. hahaz...i was rather slack during my JC years...ahha...slack compared to the rest. i wonder how i am going to last in uni...heh.

yawns...